Scars and the Past
by Kiki Sparklehonda
Summary: A series of slightly (read: very) depressing one-shots about the countries, their pasts, and why they have their own seperate psychological scars. I'm serious about depressing, I cried writing this first chapter.


***Hey guys! How's it going? Well, I'm not really sure where I got the idea for this story. But, anyway, I'm writing it now. Too late to turn back. Soooo... Enjoy!***

_Hiding old scars is the hardest thing in the entire world to do. I should know, I'm friends with the world. But they will get their turn. This is my story. My name is Feliciano Vargas, or North Italy. And this is why I act the way I do._

"Oi, fratello!" Romano shouted from across the parking lot. I looked up from the ground, where I was searching for my car keys, which I had just dropped. "Ve~?" I answered in a questioning manner. He was glaring at me. Great. _'Just leave me alone! I don't want to deal with you! Not today!' _I shouted in my head. But I didn't let on to what I was thinking. "Yes, Romano?" I asked, standing up. "Why the hell are you here?" I looked around. "I just got lost. Your house was the closest place I knew." He sighed and shook his head. "Fine. But you're leaving in the morning." I walked inside his house, the place I knew so well. The place I dreaded so much. The place with so many bad memories... I mentally shook myself before I got lost in thought. _'Don't think about it. Don't think about it.'_

I brushed past Romano and upstairs to the guest room I always used when he was in his worse moods. I don't know why I keep coming back here. I just can't help it. Romano stayed downstairs, going back to whatever he was doing before I showed up. I glanced at my phone as I put it on the bedside table, checking for messages and calls I wouldn't know I had while my phone was on silent. Nothing. _'Of course.'_ I thought bitterly. _'Why would anyone want to talk to me?'_ Oh great. My medication was wearing off. I was going to be ready to punch someone in the morning. I laid down and closed my eyes, dreading the nightmares I knew would come.

_**It was raining steadily. But the raindrops were nothing compared to my tears. I scooted farther away of from the scary Austrian man in front of me. "P-please... I p-promise I won't do it again..." I begged. "I won't steal any more food... I was just hungry..." He said no words, just picked me up. "N-no! P-please don't make me go back in there! It's dark and scary!" I yelled this time. He'd been so much worse since Holy Rome left. He ignored my cries and pleas. "Think about what you did. You aren't coming out for a while, you'll have plenty of time." He said coldly as he threw me into the closet and locked the door. "NO! MISTER AUSTRIA, PLEASE!" I shouted hysterically as the voices started back up. Just like they did every time. Just like they would continue to every time. "Go away..." I whimpered, curling up. **__"Fight back..." __**They whispered to me. "B-but... He's so big... And strong... And scary... I'll just be punished again..." **__"Fight back. You're a country too. Just take him down. Then you'll be able to punish him instead." __**"But I don't want to punish him... I want it to be peaceful..." **__"It can never be peaceful, Italy. You should know that by now." __**"There can be. They just don't want there to be." **__"And who is they...?" __**"Mister Austria..." **__"Good... You see it now." __**"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I exploded. The voices quieted down. I sighed with relief. "Thank you..."**_

_**"Holy Rome, why do you have to go?" I asked him, tears rolling down my cheeks. "It's been a long time coming, Italy... You know that." The Holy Roman Empire replied. "No I don't! Just stay with me! Please!" I cried, clinging to his arm. "You can still come with me, Italy. It's not too late yet." He said gently. "No..." I whimpered. "I don't want you to get hurt... Please don't go..." He gently detached me from his arm, handing me to Miss Hungary behind me. "Good-bye, Italy. I'll never forget you." He said, before joining the other countries leaving Austria's house. "NO! HOLY ROME, DON'T LEAVE ME!" He waved sadly before turning away for the very last time. Then I blinked, and he was gone. Just like that. "H-Holy Rome..." I cried. Miss Hungary hugged me close. "He left me..." I said, still not wanting to accept it. "Sh..." Miss Hungary said soothingly. "At least he'll always have something to remember you by." "That's not what I want!" I screamed, letting down my perfectly built facade. "I WANT HOLY ROME!" I pulled away from Hungary, only to be scooped up by Austria. "Shush, Italy. You'll see him again. Some day."**_

_**"ITALY! ITALY, WAKE UP!" Romano shouted again, shaking me into awakeness. I reached out blindly and pushed him away. "LEAVE ME ALONE! GO AWAY! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! I AM NOT FUCKING OKAY!" He pulled back, and I halfway realized Spain was there. "Italy...? What happened?" Spain asked cautiously. I ignored the question, what I had to do next raging clear in my mind. I hadn't done it in years, always taking my pills like a good boy. I pushed past them, rushing downstairs to the kitchen. Romano chased after me, somehow guessing what I was going to do. I didn't care. I had to let go of my childhood somehow. "Italy, don't do it!" He called. "You don't need to hurt yourself!" "DON'T PRETEND YOU CARE! YOU DON'T! YOU JUST DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO!" I screamed, pulling a knife out of a drawer. "Italy, stop. You know it doesn't help." Romano said, terrified. "You don't know what it does." I growled at him, sliding the blade down my arm, slowly, steadily. I sucked in a breath at the pain, loving the clarity that came with it. "Italy..." Romano started. Then he tackled me, sending the knife flying. "GET OFF ME!" I screamed in pure anger. "No!" He shouted back. "Spain, he needs it. Now!" He yelled at the Spaniard in the corner. I clamped my lips shut, knowing what he was talking about. Those pills. The ones that I didn't need. The ones they thought I did. Spain jumped into action, already having the pills in his hand. "I can't!" He shouted. "Italy's moving too much!" Romano held me the best he could, but I was stronger than him without the pills. Romano let out a slow breath. "If only the potato bastard were here..." His wish came true, about ten seconds later, when Germany walked in. **__'Damn... I forgot he was coming over...' __**I thought. He quickly surveyed the scene. "What do I need to do?" He asked. And here I thought he'd take my side. "Italy has to take his pills. He refuses." Germany nodded, understanding immediately. He helped Romano hold me down, and Spain forced the pills into my mouth. He clamped his hand down over my mouth, making sure I couldn't spit them out. I finally gave in, swallowing them. The effects started almost immediately, and I could feel the fogginess come over me. "I hate you all." I snapped, before passing out. I knew full well they'd give me the pills to "help" me later.**_

I snapped awake, for real this time. I knew now they actually had been helping me with those pills, but it still haunted me that I had done those things to them. And myself... I rushed downstairs. "Romano!" I shouted. "What?" He asked, annoyed, as I rushed into the living room, where he was. "I'm so sorry!" I sobbed as I wrapped him in a hug. He knew what I was talking about. "It's okay, Feliciano. Everything's okay." He said softly, rubbing my back and hugging me.

_Hiding old scars is the hardest thing in the entire world to do. I should know, I'm friends with the world. But they will get their turn to tell their story. That is my story. My name is Feliciano Vargas, or North Italy. And that is why I act the way I do._

***I'm a very depressing person. I'm sorry for that story. Up next is Germany, can't wait to write it! Keep reading my stories, and most definitely review!***


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